Vault-Tec : Catastrophe Recovery and Accident Protection

[Shizensky]

The wild, wild, western frontier! A place of wonder, mystery, and adventure. It's the perfect place for a fine citizen such as yourself to make your mark on the world. Beware - this land of opportunity is not without its dangers! Earthquakes, fires, attacks from bandits and red men, and horrible puns can turn this perfect desert utopia into a barren wasteland with little to no warning.

Fear not, citizen! Vault-Tec has created the perfect response to address the modern settler's safety needs! Introducing...

Vault-Tec's
Catastrophe Recovery and Accident Protection

That's right! The good folks at Vault-Tec are happy to provide our Catastrophe Recovery and Accident Protection, or CRAP services! With Vault-Tec's state-of-the-art CRAP, you'll never have to fear the dangers of the wild west again! Reserve your own underground bunker, and insure your property, today!

Customers agree to all terms and conditions upon signing up for CRAP. Customers agree to all terms and conditions not within original contract of agreement. Terms and conditions subject to change without notice. Signed contracts will be stored at Vault-Tec Headquarters in Washington, DC and will not be accessible for review or modification by customers or their representation. Customers waive all rights to an attorney or legal protection.

[fauxia]

Lmao