Pioneer
Deutschland
Posts: 58
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Post by Baden-Wuerttemberg on Sept 30, 2014 5:06:41 GMT -5
Come to the saloon and spin a tall tale.
No matter how outrageous your claim, the other patrons will nod sagely. After all, they will want you to nod sagely to their own fabrications as well.
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Pioneer
Deutschland
Posts: 58
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Post by Baden-Wuerttemberg on Sept 30, 2014 5:17:51 GMT -5
I once owned a Prairie falcon, by the name of Zax. Zax had been trained by the previous owner, a performer at fairs, to swoop down on members of the audience and steal their hats. But the performer retired and opened a metalware shop, and I got Zax.
Zax still had the habit of stealing hats, especially during the siesta, and bringing them to me. I usually disposed them discreetly in public places, and hoped the owners might find them again, before kicking up a big fuss.
And one day, wouldn't you believe it, Zax brought me a hat, inside which, behind the sweatband, were safely tucked five shares of the Western Destiny Railroad. Yes indeeeeedy!
Remember folks, use a hat-securer. Don't keep your valuables in your hat.
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Welcome to Fort Triumph
Forces of Triumph
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Post by Benevolent Thomas on Sept 30, 2014 13:14:21 GMT -5
I once swore that I met Billy the Kid. I was taking a nap by a little oasis that I had found in the desert and I was awoken by the touch of cold steel. I opened my eyes to the nose of a revolver and the outlaw standing behind it. He then demanded that I hand over all of my belongings otherwise he would kill me. I then cooly told him he could have my lead and I rang off two shots from the little pistol I keep up my sleeve. The image of Billy vanished and what was left was a lizard. "thank goodness, just a mirage" I thought. But as it turns out, it was a yellow spotted lizard which stood before me. It leaped and bit me. I died shortly after.
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Event Committee
Founding Member
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Post by Deadeye Jack on Sept 30, 2014 13:37:56 GMT -5
I once almost robbed a bank without actually trying. I was just trying to make a deposit and while I reached for my check the teller saw my holster and my gun and got a little scared. I didn't like the way he was looking at my gun, however, so I says to him "what're you lookin' at? Ain't you ever seen a pistol before?" And then I took my pistol out of my holster and put it in front of his face so he could get a closer look. Well this teller started wimpering and shaking and he may have even pissed hisself. He was so flustered he started handing me money from behind the counter. I looked at him puzzled and I yelled "Sir, are you deaf or dumb, I'm just trying to make a deposit." And then he sheepishly smiled and made the deposit all while looking dumbfounded. I told him to have a nice day and walked out. That's the god's honest truth
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Pioneer
Deutschland
Posts: 58
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Post by Baden-Wuerttemberg on Oct 2, 2014 4:04:08 GMT -5
I was staying with my cousin Amalia last summer, and after dinner she offered us a drop of her finest moonshine. Don't tell our landlord, but her self-distilled firebrand is leagues above the sullage they pour here. It's the real thing, pure as lightning.
We sat in the kitchen, and when I raised my glass and sipped, I heard the lamenting strains of a violin. I put the glass down and looked around, but heard nothing. Putting the glass to my lips again, I heard the melancholy melody again, outside in the night beyond the porch.
'You hear it?', asked Amalia.
'I do! Who is it? Who's playing the violin? Why have they stopped again?'
Amalia sighed.
'Not many hear it. It's a sad thing. Very sad. My son was a fool, and he has paid for it. We had a visit from a wandering musician here. He played the violin for us in the night, we had ridden out and invited everyone, it was a feast as never before. My son accompanied him, played the harmonica. We were charmed. We danced until our shoes fell off, then danced barefoot.
But something happened, after midnight, in the small hours. My son was jealous of the violinist's art. He called him a beggar, a parasite, a nobody, without land, kith or kin, without cattle or house, and naught in his pockets. The violinist just laughed and started playing the next tune. He knew so many of them, and played them all by heart. So when we finally had gone to sleep, my son, alas, stole the violin out of its case, broke it, threw it among the firewood for our still, lit the fire. The white whiskey he distilled that early morning is the best ever produced under our roof. And some who have the ear for it, they hear the violin.'
'How terrible,' said I. 'Your poor guest! What did he say when he woke up and found his violin gone? And your son, didn't he regret it?'
'That,' said Amalia sternly, 'is between my errant son and his fate. Let me just say he has quite lost his taste for music.'
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Event Committee
Founding Member
Posts: 2,327
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Post by Deadeye Jack on Oct 2, 2014 14:39:26 GMT -5
About three years ago I was working out in the desert helping complete one of the new rail lines that pass through town. Now it was hotter than normal and as you know, when the sun gets to beating on your back relentless like, you get real tired, and when you get tired you don't function as well as you s'pposed to.
Well the only 2 people working on this particular area of track was me and this other feller. Everyone else had gotten their work done earlier and headed back towards town but we had fell behind and needed to stay and finish up. Well as you can imagine we were played out from working all day in the hot sun.
Well it wasn't before long that this other feller took a bad swing with his sledgehammer. He hit his shin and you could hear the cracks from where I was standin 10 feet away. He gave out a yelp and went to the ground. I hurried to his side and gave it a look and I knew it wasn't good and that he had broken something.
We knew how badly we needed to finish our work though. I told him "if we don't finish we ain't gonna have a job next week". He nodded in agreement and I handed him a flask of liquor we had with us so that it could help numb his pain. I also realized I had to make some kind of splint to deal with his broken bones and so I found some wood and some rope to lash around his leg to help stabilize it.
And it worked. This feller hobbled around and got the work done and by the time we got back to town the next day he went to see the doctor. Unfortunately, he injured it badly enough he could never walk regular again. That didn't stop him from continuing to work on the railroad though. No Ol' Hobble was tough as nails and any man say different has to answer to the people who know him.
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Pioneer
Deutschland
Posts: 58
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Post by Baden-Wuerttemberg on Oct 3, 2014 7:33:31 GMT -5
I have almost, almost made a fortune in the gold rush. Almost.
It didn’t join the gold panners. Nah. I supplied them with something vital. I sold precision balances to them. So that the prospectors could weigh their gold, and cross check the in-betweeners who bought their gold grains.
Only, those precision balances were too accurate. Everyone got into fights about diverging weights, and then they all blamed it on me. I should have sold balances to the in-betweeners instead, and only to them. Blast the prospectors; blast fair dealing; blast checks and balances; blast them all.
Come to think of it… I gotta go! Business adventure calls. This time I’ll make it! You’ll see!
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Welcome to Fort Triumph
Forces of Triumph
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Post by Benevolent Thomas on Oct 13, 2014 22:25:30 GMT -5
I shot a man named Gray Took his wife to Italy She inherited a million bucks And when she died it came to me I can't help it if I'm lucky
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